Do I trust HIM... in all things??

We were blessed with 2 beautiful healthy daughters.  As we were expecting our 3rd child in 1992, tragedy struck.  I knew I was in labor, and I knew it was way too early… 20 weeks… we had just sold our house and were excited about the recently completed new home we had purchased. 
Frank met me at the hospital, and my doctor quickly determined that our baby’s heart had stopped.  I labored for 12 hours, and  HE was born early on a Thursday morning weighing 2 ounces – measuring 6 ¾ inches.  He has all 10 fingers and all 10 toes – the only reason given for his death was a “cord” accident, they called it – somehow he had been cut off from his life source.

We went home and tried to explain to our 2 and 5 year old daughters… and to me.  Someone sent me an ornate plaque with the engraved wording,
There were a million pieces… and there were a million boxes everywhere… stacks of them surrounded me... reminding me of my ever lack of control in the situation. Loans from the bank halted with needed verification.  Moving  date pushed out day after day.  I was quiet… not the norm for me.  My precious momma became my shield – the closed door to our home… “I don’t want to talk to anyone.”  I reminded her. 
Time passed – I heard the door – I knew my protective momma was at her post.  And then there she was – my very best friend standing in the doorway to my room. “I know exactly how you feel…. I know you don’t want to talk, so we won’t, but I’m not leaving.” 
And she didn’t.  She did talk a little… cried a little… prayed a little.

You see, not only was she my very best, but she had experienced the birth of a stillborn baby just months earlier.  She picked up  the first fragile fragment for me as I began to gather the pieces of my broken heart.  God so tenderly and patiently, in time,  put those pieces back in place.  Did I grieve… of course… was I sad beyond words… absolutely.  Did I realize that on April 16th of this year, that tiny boy would have been 22 years old – you can be sure. 
I did have the opportunity then to decide… bottom line – do I, did I, trust God or not…  It really is that simple. 

For so long in my life, I begged for the understanding of how things work out, why things happen when they do, when events took place… I wanted to see the beautifully wrapped gift with the fancy bow on top – but I haven’t always found that to be the way of God at least not from my very earthly perspective… so then I think of Jesus... his own precious Son.  There was most certainly purpose in His pain... in His submission to His Father's will... Thankfully we know the beauty of His resurrection from the ashes of the horrific crucifixion - the gift of eternal life with HIM as we accept His gift.
You may be in the midst of a challenging time right now... with questions and frustrations and lack of "understanding" of circumstances... me, too, but God's word continues to offer us answers, comfort and, bottom line... a decision for us to make..
Do we fully, completely trust Him - rely on Him - surrender to Him?  No rose-colored glasses here... just trust...
He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Romans 8:32

Take a few moments to read the passage below and "see"  all that HE did for David (and will do for us) as he/we simply wait/trust!  I'm praying for you!  He desires and is willing and able to be actively (look at all those verbs) participating in our lives - as broken and mixed up as we are!!

I waited patiently for the Lord;
    he turned to me and heard my cry.
 He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
    out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
    and gave me a firm place to stand.
 He put a new song in my mouth,
    a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear the Lord
    and put their trust in him.


1 comment

  1. I want to comment, however I cannot think of anything. Just know I am praying with you and for you. Love, Jill