It's a little thing

Pausing unexpectedly, just before guiding the giddy bride and groom  to repeat their wedding vows, the pastor turned to the wedding guests lining the crowded pews.  Speaking for the happy couple, he simply said,

            “In honor of our sweet couple, they have asked a favor of you.  Men, if you are sitting next to your wife, would you take her hand and tell her you love her.” 

The young bright-eyed couple gleefully watched a humble request blossom into a powerful precious moment sparking smiles, giggles, and even a tear or two.  It was a little thing that encouraged a roomful of guests.. and the couple themselves. 

Numerous informative books offered on marriage.  I searched, and the result was overwhelming – 33,600,000 available for research, review and purchase. 

Gloomy statistics offer 40-50% of marriages, whether Christian or not, fail. 

With the startling statistics and the plethora of resources available, where do we turn?  Many books give communication tools, others offer date night tips, while several encourage gift giving guides.

Frank and I have read, recommended, and found wisdom extended and insight gained in many of these books. 

Recently, though, (maybe it’s an empty nest with 34 years of marriage), we’ve found our advice for marriage significantly simplified.   Two words actually:  Serve selflessly.

Sharing real life examples brings effective evidence, so in a recent stroll down the beach, we brainstormed. 

His words:  You love to cook, and I love to eat anything you cook, so there’s a win!  Some days, you work late, and as much as I love to eat whatever you cook, I throw a couple of baked potatoes in the oven and call it dinner, hoping that will relieve even your thought of dinner.  It is a little thing.

Her words:  I do love to cook.  I love to cook for you, but can I tell you what a gift it is for me to walk in the door to yummy baked potato aroma… especially when you add my favorite sweet potato!  It is a little thing.

One more monumental gift my husband offers:  every single night before going to bed, he makes coffee and sets the timer so that when I wake up in the morning, fresh coffee greets me.  I am served!

Every morning before leaving before work I make our bed.  Frank has battled chronic pain for many years, and even though he will likely return to rest within an hour, the smooth inviting place of rest awaits him.  He is served.

What if we wondered aloud to our spouse, “How can I serve you today?”

The most helpful Book we’ve read about marriage?  That Book, the Bible, offers this charge to serve with absolute clarity:

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus. 
Philippians 2:3-5
Can I just challenge us all…
Go make the bed
Fix the coffee
Grab the hand of the one you said, “I do” to, and say again, I love you.

Find a little thing


  1. Such great advice! You are such a blessing to so many in so many ways!

  2. I am passing this on. It truly is not the showy, big things, it is the wonderful little things in life. Love to you and your family. Jill