We were so thankful for a fabulous videographer who captured moments that we missed and would never have enjoyed and appreciated without the expertise behind the camera. Even recently I have used portions of the video at retreats and seminars; my sister continues to use a particular song/event as she teaches high school writing. The videographer caught everything....
Laughingly as the final dvd treasure was presented to us, she commented, "you know, Susan, we could have created an entire song set around one thing that the camera found you doing often..." I had a few thoughts of what she might be eluding to - tears, silliness, laughter, me giving another direction to someone, a hug... None of my guesses were correct.
You sighed... over and over again. Dictionary.com defines a sigh (as a verb) - to let out one's breath audibly, as from sorrow, weariness, or relief.
I watched a portion of the dvd just the other day, and I saw it... more than once. Reliving a couple of those moments in my mind, my memory was clear.... letting out breath as from.. what? Sorrow - Katie was our first to marry, weariness - much planning/preparation had been our week, relief - well, ... it is [almost] finished, and, for me, joy - I could barely take it all in.
Some of my sighing moments were just sheer overwhelming emotion of the moments... breathing in the excitement, the joy, the tenderness of a precious wedding, so many dear people in one place. I remember at the reception when Chris (son-in-law) and I had a quiet moment on the small dance floor. "Look around, Chris, everyone in this room is here in this very moment because they love you and Katie and want to encourage and support you... I am overwhelmed." He was, too. I feel sure I sighed.
I guess there is some momentary relief in the exhale of a sigh. It follows a reasonably intentional "inhale" of air... then release.
In Mark chapter 8, Jesus was approached by the Pharisees asked once again for a sign from Heaven to convince them of Jesus' claims and identity. The ESV version says, "And He (Jesus) sighed deeply in His spirit and said, Why does this generation seek a sign?"
Jesus sighed... I know we lose some wording in translation, but was He sorrowful, weary, relieved?? Frustrated, disappointed? Was Jesus thinking, 'I am here... in front of you... in the flesh.. oh, ye of such little faith...."
Do I cause Jesus to sigh when I need a sign? When I refuse to fully trust Him? When I lack the discipline to search His word for comfort? When I simply rely on my selfish thinking?
Oh dear friends, we have access to His words, His heart, His character through His word... We have ALL the signs! His word is THE sign... the power and presence through the Holy Spirt is our full access to Him. The sign above the head of Jesus on the cross caused me to sigh in awe... King of the Jews...
Thank you, Jesus for signing your name with your blood for my sin - in my place...
His word is precious, is active, is alive, and look.... Psalm 38:9 - He knows...
Lord, my every desire is known to You; my sighing is not hidden from you.
So, let's take a moment, deep breathe in.... sigh... He, the Almighty Creator of the Universe knows... and dear beloved, He knows why you sigh... and He is with you....
Hey Susan, Boy do I "feel ya sister". I have very similar memories. I notice I too have a "sighing" habit. I wonder though if I could find a way of transforming that sigh that is most certainly coming from moments of feeling overwhelmed, or maybe even a moment of pain - to a pattern of just a full exhale without the noise. So that, I might breathe in fully the love of Christ. When I get a chance to sit in silence and just be with God, that is exactly what I want to do - get as much air out, so in that moment I can breathe Him in. Yes, He is the air I breathe! Love you. G
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